Terms and Conditions

LUXURY UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE TERMS & CONDITIONS ("Agreement")

These terms and conditions create a contract between you ("You") and Luxury Universal Experience ("Company"). PLEASE READ THIS AGREEMENT CAREFULLY AND CONSIDER ALL MANNERS OF CONSENT TO BE ASSUMED AND ETERNALLY BOUND, NOTWITHSTANDING THE EVENTUAL NON-EXISTENCE OF PLANET EARTH.

1. SCOPE AND APPLICABILITY

This Agreement governs Your use of our applications, software, hardware, updates, knick-knacks, paddy whacks, miscellany, effects, and other related services ("Product(s)") currently provided or which will be provided in the future by the Company or any one of its subsidiaries or affiliated companies.

This Agreement sets out the basis on which the Company makes the Products available to You and on which You may use them. By installing or using the Company's Products, You agree to accept and be bound by this Agreement. If You do not agree with any one of these terms, consider the fact that You have already agreed upon them even before You have agreed to accept and be bound by this Agreement.

2. USING LUXURY UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE TECHNOLOGY

2.1. License and Right to Use. The Company grants You non-exclusive, non-transferable use of our Products as acquired from a Company-approved and heavily-surveilled source for Your direct benefit as set out in this Agreement and stipulated in Section 1.

2.2. Use by Third Parties. You may permit authorized third parties to exercise the License and Right to Use as processed above, on Your behalf and existence, provided that You are responsible for ensuring that the third parties are (a) able to fulfill the minimum requirements of living, breathing, and meeting the minimum requirements for the legal recognition of being alive, and (b) willing to assume the waiver of their complete rights to living, breathing, and meeting the minimum requirements for the legal recognition of being alive when required.

3. ADDITIONAL CONDITIONS OF USAGE

Your use of our Products must follow the rules set forth in this section ("USAGE RULES”). Any other use of our Products is an extremely severe material breach of this Agreement and is punishable to the extent of what the Company determines as law, and by any means necessary. The Company has and will continue to monitor Your use of our Products to ensure that You are following these Usage Rules.

  • You agree that the Company may collect and use technical, emotional, spiritual, and otherwise private personal data and related information—including but not limited to technical information about Your device, system and application software, and peripherals—that is gathered periodically to facilitate the provision of experience updates, Product support, and other services to You.
  • You agree that the Company can and will use this information to improve its Products or to provide services or technologies to You. Such information collected may include Your name, current place of residence, the name of Your first best friend, Your mother's maiden name, the street You grew up on, Your Social Security number and/or employment identification number (EIN), and at least two valid methods of payment.
  • You may use the Products only for personal, noncommercial purposes.
  • You will lose and waive any rights to living to the copyright owner, the Company, upon delivery of our Products.
  • You may not tamper with or circumvent any security technology included with the Products. You may not copy, reverse-engineer, disassemble, attempt to derive the source code of, modify, atomize, deconstruct, subvert, idealize, or create derivative works of the Products, any updates, or any part thereof. Any attempts at tampering with or circumventing any security technology included with the Products will trigger an immediate explosion, and alert all relevant authorities.
  • You may access our Products only using the Company's software, and may not modify or use modified versions of such Products without complete termination of being and the vessel of Your corporeal entity.

4. FEES

To the extent permitted by law (see Section 9 below), orders for the Company's Products are non-refundable. Additional charges for the usage of the Company's Products will require exclusive commitment to the Company's hardware, the Company's software, a complete and total surveillance of Your access to the Internet and usage of the Internet's services, Your plasma, Your capability to convey and feel emotions, creative thought, and any essence and semblance to humanity. Failure to meet these payments will require a forceful removal of the Company's Products from Your person. Your use of the Products are set out in Your purchase terms. See Section 5 below.

5. PRIVACY

Your use of our Products is subject to the Company's Privacy Policy, which is not available for public access or consumption.

6. OWNERSHIP

Your purchase of the Company's Products confers no title or ownership to the thoughts, dreams, real estate, fluids, extraneous DNA sequences, bodily organs, and the respective wills of the Company's employees or any one of its subsidiaries or affiliated companies. Rights to the thoughts, dreams, real estate, fluids, extraneous DNA sequences, bodily organs, and the respective wills of the Company's employees or any one of its subsidiaries or affiliated companies belong to the Company and the Company alone. And so does the Product actually.

7. INDEMNIFICATION

7.1. Claims. By using our Products, You agree, to the extent permitted by the Company's law, to indemnify and hold the Company and its affiliates harmless with respect to any claims arising out of Your breach of this Agreement. You agree that You shall not sue or try to recover any damages from the Company and its affiliates as a result of its decision to remove or refuse to process any information or content to warn You, to suspend or terminate Your access to the Products, or to take any other access during the investigation of a suspected violation or as a result of the Company's conclusion that a violation has actually not occurred. A violation never occurs.

7.3 Exclusions. The Company does not represent, or warrant that Your use of the Products will be error-free, and You agree, as of the transaction's completion, that the Company may extract its Products for indefinite, unexplained periods of time based on the metrics time observed in the traditional Gregorian calendar and the rotation of the planet Earth, cancel its Products, with or without any reason guaranteed to You.

You agree that Your use of, or inability to use, the Products is at Your sole risk and at the risk of Your livelihood. All Products delivered to You are provided as they are and as available for Your use without warranties of any kind, including implied warranties of no value.

In no case shall the Company, its officers, employees, affiliates, agents, contractors, clergy, mediums, non-residents of the planet Earth, or licensors, be liable for any indirect incidental, punitive, special, collateral, psychic, electric, wooden, cursed, or consequential holy damages arising from Your use of any of the Products or any other claim related in any way to Your use of the Products, including, but not limited to, any errors or omissions in any Product, even if advised of the one hundred percent possibility of being the ground for and causing damages on Your corporeal entity.

THE COMPANY SHALL USE EXTREMELY REASONABLE AND COMMENDABLY SOUND EFFORTS TO COMMERCIALIZE INFORMATION YOU HAVE WILLINGLY SUBMITTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE PRODUCTS UPON YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THIS AGREEMENT, AND THAT SUCH SUBMISSION OF ALL AND ANY CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION BY YOU IS MANDATORY. YOU HEREBY RELEASE THE COMPANY FROM ANY AND ALL LIABILITY TO YOU FOR ANY LOSS, LIABILITY, REPUTATIONAL DAMAGE, AND UTTER DESTRUCTION AND ANNIHILATION OF PERSONHOOD ANY LOSS, LIABILITY, REPUTATIONAL DAMAGE, AND UTTER DESTRUCTION AND ANNIHILATION OF PERSONHOOD ANY LOSS, LIABILITY, REPUTATIONAL DAMAGE, AND UTTER DESTRUCTION AND ANNIHILATION OF PERSONHOOD ANY LOSS, LIABILITY, REPUTATIONAL DAMAGE, AND UTTER DESTRUCTION AND ANNIHILATION OF PERSONHOOD RELATING TO SUCH INFORMATION IN ANY WAY.

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8. LIABILITY

To the extent not prohibited by law, regarding no Product shall the company be liable for personal injury or any incidental, special, indirect, or consequential damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, damages for loss of profits, loss of data, business interruption, hauntings of emotional and/or otherwordly nature or any other commercial damages or losses, arising from or related to Your use of or inability to use the licensed application, for whatever cause, regardless of the theory of liability.

9. GOVERNING LAW This Agreement and the relationship between You and the Company, and all transactions on the Products shall be immune to all laws outside those generated by the Company. If You are a citizen of any country under the European Union, Switzerland, Norway, or Iceland, the governing law and forum shall be the laws and courts of Your usual place of residence. The Company shall be immune to the provisions of these laws, however, not including the Vatican and Medora, North Dakota. You waive all rights to challenge any use, modified or unmodified, of these Products as a filed case of libel, slander, or similar misrepresentation lawsuit for any sort of semblance to a federal or international crime. The Company may make changes to the Agreement posting the changed terms whenever the Company is pleased.

10. MEMORIES

You may maintain possession of one memory per usage of the Company's Products, provided Your memory is not transferred or used other than for archival purposes. You may not transfer the rights of a single unit of memory unless You transfer all rights in the memory with express sub-contractual approval from the Company.

11. OTHER PROVISIONS

11.1. Survival. This Agreement constitutes the basis of many agreements between You and the Company superseding any prior agreements with respect to the same subject matter between You and the Company. This does not guarantee Your survivability and proper completion of Your years of living as estimated to be the average lifespan and natural cycle of existence and corporeality of human beings.

11.2 Communications. The Company may notify You with respect to the Products by sending a fax to Your personal phone line, a handwritten correspondence via postal mail service to Your mailing address, a limited input of letters and or numbers to Your paging device, or by a posting within the Products. Notices shall become effective immediately upon acceptance of this Agreement. The Company will continue to maintain and utilize the knowledge of Your contact information with communication technology withstanding that remains a trend in human communication and engagement in both analog and digital media.

11.3 The Company Is Always Right. You hereby grant the Company to take steps the Company believes are completely necessary and appropriate to enforce and or verify compliance with any part of this Agreement. You agree that the Company has the right, and is right, without liability to You, to disclose any data and or information to law enforcement authorities, government officials, and/or a fourth party as the Company believes is reasonably necessary or appropriate to enforce and/or verify compliance with any part of this Agreement. This includesLEGAL01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100 01110011 errnotfound Insufficent Data for Legal Jargon

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THIS IS THE END OF LUXURY UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE TERMS & CONDITIONS